My Journey

• FORMER CHILD OF DIVORCE
• A PRODUCT OF UNWILLING TERGIVERSATION
• FINDING MY IDENTITY
• ENCOURAGING MY CHILDREN TO CONFIDENTLY DEVELOP THEIR OWN IDENTITIES
• NAVIGATING A FORCED ALIENATION FROM MY CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

As a child of divorced parents, I was never given the opportunity to develop my own thoughts and feelings about them as individuals. My thirst for wanting to acquire my own identity intensified through the experiences I encountered while watching my parents’ marriage dissolve.

Fast forward many years later, during my own divorce, I found myself experiencing the same type of unwilling alienation as my parent – who had felt helplessly isolated from the child he/she loved. I know, now, that this is the reason why my parent walked away and, seemingly, gave up. I can still sense the deep-rooted hurt I felt from this person I hardly knew, and was not permitted to know, on my own terms. An opportunity for redemption  did not occur, out of deference to the other parent’s opinion. In hindsight, I understand that I should not have been placed in the position of choosing to which parent I would be loyal.  I should have been encouraged to be devoted to both.

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In the course of much reflection from my own childhood, along with undergoing the pain and feelings of isolation from my own divorce, I have made it my priority to become an advocate for the child’s voice and identity and to ensure their health, well-being, and sense of being loved by each parent.  I am on a mission to end the cycle of dysfunction and reassert unity – even in the midst of a fragmented marriage.